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Saturday, December 31, 2005
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Moments from now... we will say "bye-bye" to 2005 and say "hello" to 2006.
To most people here in our place, the way they say "bye-bye" is by burning money - lots of them. :(
This is a sad thing to see but it's tradition and from experience, tradition is a very hard thing to change. So, I'll just mind my own business and watch them burn there money.:)

I'm looking at 2006 as the year of action. I feel that this is a year where we roll-up our sleeves and get our hands dirty. This could be the year of great harvest [savings] though I read that the year of greater harvests [for those who are working smart] will start on 2008. Hmmmm... I am not playing psychic or anything.. just feeling the whole thing.

So I am very excited about this whole thing. The future is indeed an exciting topic. My friend once said, "Let's not talk about the past. Let's talk about the future and then we will be happy."

Looking at the future... I can say only 2 words..."Akin Yan!!!!" :D
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
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I realized that I am soft person and I am easily moved [sometimes cry] by deep emotions.

When I was young, my classmates would always tease me since I cry easily [even when I am angry]. I thought something is wrong with me; I thought, I was gay or something so I tried not to cry when I feel grief or any heavy emotion. When my eyes starts to water... I would look away and think of my something else that will keep me from crying. Still, sometimes, I cannot hold them all - I ended up breaking down.

I later realized that nothing is wrong with crying. In fact, I think the bravest thing a man could do is to shed his tears on a cry-able situation, in front of people who might tease him or doubt his sexual preferrence after the event. Crying is simply being true to yourself and to others.

I loved crying in cry-able events. It will not show that I am weak, it simply says I am man enough to admit that I feel something.:)
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
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"don't you know that sometimes tears are more special than smiles because a smile can just be given to anyone but tears are only shed to people you don't want to lose." - author unknown

[one of the few text message that moved me - thanks Joyce, you have always moved me]
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
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Last night, I felt that the Lord spoke to me again. It is not as facinating as the burning bush encounter of Moses but the Lord did spoke to me in a way I have not expected. When some of the people can easily dismiss the event as coincidence, I count it as one of the instances when God just use other people to bring in His word to me. After I re-evaluated what happened I would say that in order for that event to happen, I have to arrive at the hobbit house exactly that late; I have to tell my friend "let's watch this program"; I have to experience that technical difficulty that I have to restart the program, my friend has to ask the question at that particular time of the program and I have to hold my tongue and not discuss it, my other friend has to say,"what? I'm sorry cz I'm listening to this guy" for us to listen as well and moments later we got the answer to my friend's question, which is consistent with the Word of God and only magnified by the timing of our need at that very moment of time.:)

The Bible says that the path of the righteous is ordered by the Lord. This means that God is going to put us in the right place and in the right time so that we will achieve our purpose.
Coincidence? I don't think so.

I would have dismiss this event if I have not prayed for it but I have. I feel like this is just the beginning - I'm excited for more of the Lord's presence.:)
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Sunday, December 11, 2005
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Arha-shun: "Everytime I see myself in the waters... I feel that I am looking at a person who will fulfill his destiny. He knows it won't be easy but he will surely be what he is created to be."

The seer: "You have spoken of your future as if it has already supervened. You have spoken with your heart in front of a soothsayer, yet I cannot see your future. It appears to me that you are Magnania, unlike any other being in our world, your future cannot be perceived. It seems that you will make your own destiny."
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Saturday, December 10, 2005
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Nivarthe: "Hey!... there you are. What are you doing there? Come up here and join with us. Ashaia and Leno are reigning the dance floor. Come on let's have the time of our lives!

Shefagae: [sigh]

Nivarthe: "What's wrong with you? you seemed troubled? Oh no... is it the liquor?"

Shefagae: "Hhhuhnng... No it's not the liquor and it's not the dancing... it's everything!. I mean, look at us, we dance we drink... we have fun. And then what? We look for another good time again.. All I'm saying is that... we are just going in circles. I mean.. we are just chasing.. excitement. Is this all there is? Isn't there anything more? Is is this just life is all about?"
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Friday, December 09, 2005
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Thank you Pastor Mitch for inspiring me to write this one.

 Looking back, this year, 2005 has been a different year for me. For one, this is my first year of being a full employee of Lexmark and receiving my regular income has been a test for me; my faithfulness in handling my finances is very much being tested. This is not about returning the tithes and giving the offering but about what happens to the remaining 85% of my income. This year, I learned (not fully learned though) a lot in that area and my desire to really be disciplined and be faithful grew. Another is, I have meet more men of God this year than any year in my life so far, there's Rev. Tony Pool, Vins Santiago, Georgian Banov, Pstr. Ted [forgot his last name.. it sounds like "labas!"... kidding sounds like Manlangit], Pstr. Carding Siok [bata ako ni Lord], Pstr. Aljef [fruits that lasts], Pstr. [Bimbol-rocco-look-a-like] and some other pastors and evangelists. Thank you Lord for bringing me people who challenge me to go beyond where I am today. Another is I have read[on my own] and owned more books this year than any year in my life so far. And I have dreamed bigger dreams [and achieve some of them] this year than any other year in my life so far. Also I think I have grown faster, this year than any other year so far. Praise the Lord for that!

 This Sunday, we will celebrate Thanksgiving Sunday and here is my partial list of people I thank the Lord for. Lord thank you for:
#1. My mom, Evangeline Librero - my hero. The lady who gave up a lot of things for me. The lady whose passion for the Lord is my inspiration. She is not perfect but I loved her not only because she is my mother but because she is love-worthy. If you are me you will understand what I am saying, you would probably say, "who would not love a mother like that." She is probably the first person who believes in me.

 #2. my mentors - Pastor Noel and Pastor Siony. They believed in me and they help me grew as a person. They are committed to be used by God and as a result, I grew as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned that the Lord has really great plans for my life because they never stopped [until now] teaching and inculcating that fact in my spirit.

 #3. my gilfriend - Joyce Marie Galindo. She is the second person, I express my dreams, hopes and fears to. She believed in me, she belived that I can make our future brighter. She thinks I can do many things and I can make things happen. She appreciates every single thing I do. Though, sometimes we argued, she still loved me. She thinks I have what it takes to make my dreams a reality. I was never afraid in telling her my dreams because I know she will fuel it.

 #4. my media friends - Kuya Joe, my leader, he is always patient on me and appreacites my ideas. He sees the same future that I am seeing and is committed to pursue it. I learned a lot from him; Mel, she my very close friend, I thank God for her maturity. Her growth is always my joy. She makes me feel trustworthy and she always pruds me to go on; Gerard, he does a lot of things better than me and I thank the Lord for that. Without him, I can't imagine a lot of things in the team. He makes the world rounder; Dave, his maturity has been my inspiration. My trust for him grew in every moment; Tiff, her thoughtfulness always touches me. There are a lot of details that I overlook but she catches them as easy as ABC. When I look at the Tiff before and the Tiff she definitely has grown to be a better person.

 #5 my sisters - if my mentors taught me to dream big, they thought me to dream. They taufght me to move forward and not be contented with where we are. They taught me to survive. Some of them sacrificed their personal agenda just for me to succeed. I learned from them, their experiences about my father, because of that, I had painted in my mind, a great father who is committed to my succees. So more or less, I have felt the love of my father even though I was not able to experienced him as I grew up.

#6 my friends in the office - my team. They are very supportive people. They contibuted a lot of my personality. We both learned from each other. There are a lot of things I would say bout each of them but this will make this post longer.


#7 people in church that inspired me - surely God placed them there to inspire me. "Oh my all who come behind us find us faithful."
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Sunday, December 04, 2005
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Welcome to the wolrd of payables! Moments ago, I was really having a strong feeling of writing about "The emptiness of this world". Let me talk about it a little bit, well, this world is empty and after all the fun and "success" this world gives there will always be a moment of silence and the "fun" and "success" will either be distant, fading or unimportant. One person says, "everything will go back to the box". And this is really true... this world is empty. I remembered having the same feeling a King Solomon as he wrote the Book of Ecclesiates... "everything is empty.. it just like chasing the wind". And you know what.. going after the "fun"... is just like "chasing the wind"; You thought you have it but it's nowhere. This world is empty and the Book of Ecclesiaites said something about why we (all people that ever existed) chase the wind; it says that because there is an emptiness in our heart which God created so that we will long for Him. How's that?

Anyway, again for my payables... ahhh.. I mean, payables really changes things. And it changes how we should look at things. I get shaken when it comes to money because is important. God knew that money is important so when He came here He talked about it many times. Check the Bible's first four books of the New Testament for that. Still, the Lord is good and He will make a way even in the natural things are getting a bit shaky. And like the 3 believers talked about in the book of Daniel, I will say to everyone, "I know the Lord God Almighty is able to deliver me in this situation but even He won't deliver me, I will still praise and worship Him."
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worlds apart

Alkiemna : "What are you talking about?"
Mickael : "I mean, if I search my heart I know I desire to stay and be with you but the truth is.. we can never be together as long as you stay in Gaia, for I am a Celestian"

Alkiemna: "Does the distance of our worlds matter in our love? Is loving you and being with you too big to ask?" You loved me; I loved you - is that hard to understand?"

Mickael: "Please stop... I don't want to hear it anymore... Hearing your words are like pinch of death to my heart. I know breathing won't be easy without you but again, a Celestian should know better than loving a Gaian."
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Friday, December 02, 2005
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Juan Perdo: "How did you know she is the right one for you? I mean, how could you
possibly give it all up?"

Andress Tibay: " I don't know.. but the moment I looked at her... and she looked back at me and
I saw the sparkle in her eyes, all I saw was our future. She and me standing
closely side by side, promising to each other forever. And from that day on.. I said
to myself... I'll risk everything."
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
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Just awhile ago, on my way to my girlfriend's place, I rode a jeep with a nut driver. I mean, really nuts. He actually tried to bump a taxi along Osmena Blvd. The taxi driver who is also nuts also tried to bump back and they almost got into collision. I don't know who started it but the buttomline is, they tried to scare and bump each other with passengers on board. Wow!!! These morons almost got us killed!! Man, the conductor justified the bumping by saying the the taxi cut the jeepney first. Man, he didn't even realized that they have a pregnant woman on board! They seemed to enjoy this whole thing while putting all of us at risk. They acted like kids on wheels. I forgot to note their plate numbers(I wish I would have).Sayang!

Anyway, I realized that we sometimes act like these moron drivers. We put up unnecessary risk and neglecting our responsiblities. As a result, we put people at risk. Sometimes, we get nuts and become emotional on the little things that irritate us. Then we tried to justify our actions by saying, "he/she cut me first". Duh! We act like kids just to keep our flesh (ego) satisfied. We do these things without even realizing that we put some stupid risk to pregnant subjects that are around us. Sometimes, the result of this is miscarriage; dream-miscarriage; future-miscarriage;relationship-miscarriage;life-miscarriage;

I learned that in driving, even though you are right and your "opponent" is wrong you have to give way, or you will be right and dead (dead-right). In life, there are times were we have to give up our egos or we will end up a roadkill.
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I am not a theologian so I could be wrong and any of may correct me with this article.

I found that there are 3 kinds of death mentioned in the Bible.

1. Physical death - the common death that we know; the separation of the spirit from the body.

2. Death to sin - this happens when we receive the Lord Jesus Chist in our hearts and make Him our Lord and Savior. As a result, His gift of salvation, we will receive and we are now save. Being dead to sin means death to the world. Sin no longer has the authority over us and we are now a free being. A lot of believers stop here. After accepting the Lord Jesus Christ, they just go to church and stay there. Nothing more, nothing less. I admit that I, myself fall into this stagnation. I enjoyed being dead to sin. I enjoyed the forgiveness of he Lord every time I sin against Him. But later in my walk with Him, I discovered another death that should happen to me. The third kind of death - Death to self.

3. Death to self - even though we are dead as far as sin and this world is concerned, we still have self to fight against. Our flesh and ego is still fighting against God. Even though, we have accepted the free gift of salvation, we still have our flesh that wants to rule our lives. I realized that my motives and decision are clouded by self. When I discovered from the Word of God that I need to die to self - I begun to understand what the New Testaments said about "putting to death self" and Paul's famous statements, "to live is Christ and to die is gain" and "No longer I who live but Christ who lives in me"

I don't want to be very theological about this but to simply put, Jesus needs to be at the driver seat.
We need to die to self.

I want to discuss more on this but I don't have the luxury called time.'Till next time.
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Monday, November 28, 2005
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Yeah... you guessed it right, this post is going to be corny so just hold on. In Bisaya, "untong lang mu ky bidli ni".

She's 18 Y.O. now.. at long last.:) After 2(?) years of waiting, my girl finally turned 18. [BIG yeah!!!]

At last, her parents can no longer charge me of kidnapping every time we go out on a date.:)

This lady rocked my heart from top to bottom. I mean, for the past 1 plus years, I had a lot of different emotions with this lady; from sadness to gladness and from madness to greatness.
She is Proverbs 31 with the beaty unerased.:)
I praise the Lord for this lady. I love her with all my heart.:)
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Thursday, November 24, 2005
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yesterday was a blast. i went to sleep about 7:30 pm and woke up around 10pm. then went back to sleep til 4am(today). prayed and read the Word of God till 5am then went back to sleep til 7:30am.
All in all i had about 12hrs and 30 min of sleep...:) How's that?

jUst a thought...
two days ago, I rode with a very old man in the jeepney. He is a very old, around 80+ to 90 years old. He said that he is on his way to veteran's bank. He wore a cap with the texts : USAFFEE World War II Veteran (I'm n0t sure if I got the right letters - but something like that). And when we stopped somewhere in SSS building (btw, we started from Ayala; route 14D), he said, that during the '30s this place are all woods. I just thought, wow this guy is ancient.:) I was thinking, "man, I just rode with somebody who fought during WWII and lived." I remember by grandPa and he is around that age; also fought in the battle but probably not as old as this guy. We'll no leasson from that experience but I just want to take a note of this guy.
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
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I used to pray only when I feel like praying, only when somebody asks me to pray and only whenI have emergencies in life and I need God to help me out in my situation.

One Friday afternoon, I had one of the normal suddenlies in life. Its not life threatening but I could say that it stirred me a bit. I don't know why it stirred me but I just feel a bit sad. So I prayed and ask the Lord for... nothing in particular just His presence and some comfort. I got what I asked for and the Lord assured me that everythings going to be alright.

Since my prayer, I felt confident that the Lord took care of me but I'm a bit hungry for more of the Lord's presence and comfort. I feel the need to get serious with my prayer life.

That night, I met my pastor-friend and she brought with her a book. I didn't read the title just the looks of it made me think that its not about leadership or anything of kind of genre so I just look at the back cover and then my eyes caught the statement, "If you've been too busy, too tired, or too lazy to pray, this book is for you." After reading that statement, I quickly said "WOW!!! This book is for me." After hearing those words my pastor-friend then asked for the book back then removed the book marker and then gave the book to me. Wow!!! What a surprised!

That night, I read the book and found a lot of things that I miss as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Prayer is very essential to a Christian. One part of the book says it is a sin for a Christian not to pray. I'm not talking about just any prayer or prayer time, I'm talking about setting a time with the Lord like you meeting your boss 1 hour everyday. And talking to Him like you are talking to a Father who cares for you and who is concerned about anything that happens in your life.

This book called "Let Prayer Change your Life" by Becky Tirabassi is a book about prayer and answered prayers. She said that after making a committment to pray 1 hour every single day, she saw God's hand move in her life. Her faith grew in the Lord and she never stopped praying for 11 years. For 11 years, she saw her life moved by the Lord simply because every single day, she would talk to the Lord about anything that happens to her.

When we pray, we unleashed a very strong POWER from the Lord. We go with the flow of God and just get fall afresh in His presence.

I made a decision to do the same; to pray for an hour everyday because I want to experience a deeper relationship with God.

For the past days, the devil has been tying to get me down with my decision and he is just trying to stop me; tempting me to do other things to quit and just go on without praying. Becky, never mentioned experiecing a lot of distractions when she begun her committment but I have a lot of them. I mean, it's just like bombs are being dropped in my feet but because of these I can feel now that I'm on the right track and I'm just excited on what God will do in my life.
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
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When is death a good thing?

Death is inevitable. In the natural, death is a consequence of life. People mourn in times of death. Few people really rejoice over death of a love one.

So is there a good thing in death? When is death ever good?

Someone told me that people resists change. I believe that death is a kind of change or a change agent so people resist death. People know that things will never going be the same after someone dies.

Death means change and that change is different for different people and different family.

To our family, the death of my father means our lives are going to be tough. Being tough means financial lack, flat poverty and flooding debt. My sisters told me times when we don't have any money to buy food and they have to improvise and use soy sauce mixed with rice for their meal.At that time my mom was drowned in debt.We were very poor. But it was in those times when my mom lifted ourlives to the Lord. She doesn't have anyone to go to but to the God who created the universe. Those were the times when my mother's faith was built that even when I became an atheist, she still prayed for me every morning while I'm still asleep. My mom's faith grew and so are my sisters'. They became tougher than before.

When I thought I was going to die, I had a change of heart since I realized that life is so short and so fragile.I told myself, "Man, I am going to die and I didn't even have a girlfriend." Then I asked, "why is it that I don't have a girlfriend?". Then I realized that it was because I was afraid; I was afraid I was going to get dumped; I was afraid to be hurt; I was afraid to be vulnerable; I was afraid that that person will not feel the same way as I do. I told myself. "Now because of being afraid, I will die without even telling the lady (my crush at that time) I loved how special she is to me. Sayang! If only I was brave enough to show that I am soft. Even though she may not feel the same way it could have been alright as long as she knows.. I cared for her." Then I prayed to the Lord and I said," God let me live, I have so much to do. I am so young to die. I still have unconfessed feelings to a lady." The Lord healed me and I went out of the hospital a changed man.

I realized that any moment could be our last. The words we left to a friend could be the last words we will ever leave them. The emotions we express to our parents could be our last.

If there's anytime to show care to your friend, family, officemate, schoolmate or anybody, the best time to do it is, anytime today. It could be our or their last lets make it count.

Psalms 90:12 says "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
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Today, our church celebrates Faith Week. I realized that I had enough dose of "reality" that it is a bit hard for me to believe that God can do the supernatural.

I remember a story in the Bible where a father came to Jesus with a boy who has an evil spirit in him. When the spirit saw Jesus, the boy went into convulsion. Then Jesus said, "If you can? Everything is possible for those who believe." The father answered, " I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."(mark 9:14-30)
There are times that I would say to God, "Lord, I believe you; help me in my unbelief."

Yesterday, I have a hard time believing. I mean, I can believe the small stuff but the BIG ones are a bit hard to digest. I told the Lord all the things that I want to happen that I have a hard time imagining. Probably the Lord saw my agony and He stepped in and reminded me of the Scripture that says, "According to your faith it shall be done unto you."(Matt 9:29)

It's just amazing that God operates in this faith area. It's like that God is saying "You want it? Then believe first!" God will not just give it to you right away; you need to believe first. If you read the first four books of the New Testament you will notice that Jesus really appluads when He sees people of faith. On the other hand part of the Scripture says that "Jesus did not do many miracles there [some place] because of the people's unbelief."
The book of James says something like this, " when you ask, believe and not doubt... [when you doubt] you should not expect to receive anything from the Lord."

"According to your faith it shall be done unto you." I have to believe, otherwise nothing will happen. I have to believe that whatever God said in His Word will happen in my life or it will not happen.

I remember the words, "God can do exceedingly, abundantly, more that anything you could ever think or ask for."

Today, as the church celebrates Faith week, I am reminded to believe God for great things; greater than myself! I have always been an advocate of believing God for big things [at least that's how I thought, I think] but now I know that I have not believed enough and/or what I have believed for are not big enough.

Nothing is impossible for the Lord! Would you believe?
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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
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Why is it that everytime I commit myself to follow what God wants me to do, something always happen to drive me away from that committment?

I just committed to live straight for the Lord, to go back to my passion, to come back to the heart of worship, to live fully for God; suddently, temptations just flew around like hell!!!

These temptations doesn't looked like any temptations at all. In a way, following these thoughts are gratifying and in a way "alright". And if you explore it, it may look logical and justifiable.:)

This is one of the things that I could say, is not a walk in the park.

The Lord rescued me (still); the Bible says, the Lord "will provide a way out" when we encountered these things.

He surely knows my limits and He knows at what point will I breakdown.

I got out from it unscratched. Thanks to the protection of the Lord.:)
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Thursday, November 03, 2005
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whaaa!! i just came back from the province. i spent my long(?) vacation there and frankly, i didn't felt relax.:) I can't say i need more time to rest but I just felt like reporting back to work tomorrow.:)

i just browse through my friendster and i found a couple that i think are sweet to each other-Ali and Aiko. Just looking at them made me smile always. I'm not always a romantic guy that's why my gf sometimes complain to me about it. Most of the time, I'm more on functional that aesthetics. Anyway, i found this couple with deep devotion to each other and I could say we seldom see couple like them. To Aiks and Ali, best wishes. :)

i also found heart evangelista's friendster. I'm not sure if that's really her.hehehehehe... im not a fan but she's really pretty, just like my one and only girlfriend, Joyce. :)

ahmmm.. i got some pics from the province. i'll post some of them sometime.

as always.. i have new plans for myself and for my friends.:) as usual my plans need money..
anyway.. ill take things easy since the Bible says, "The steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord." I'm pretty sure God is ordering things up for me right now as I am typing this post; that's why i have these desires. :)

I remember a pastor say something like this, "If we want to soar on wings like an eagle,we must quit thinking like a chicken - get rid of the chicken mentality." Hehehe.. sad to say we think like chicken sometimes.:(
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
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At last... I finally found the time to write. It's so hard... not being able to record your thoughts. Sometimes.. its like breathing with a gas mask on.:) I really found writing something interesting. I probably got positively contaminated by Melai to write my thoughts; for that, thanks Mel!

I missed talking also... I remember handling a Bible study in college and making my short sermon for the week. It's something I really felt great doing; inspiring people to grow, move forward, get close to the Lord, find meaning in life and develop their relationship with God. Seeing people's eyes widen as I speak God's truth is a very rewarding experience. Trurly, when you know the Truth, the Truth shall set you free.

The week has been somewhere between the ordinary and the almost exceptional. I felt like God showed me a lot of my character flaws [Ouch]. I did not experienced any spanking just some warnings. A lot of times, I deliberately disobeyed the Lord. Then I read 2 Peters, it says, "...[you are] blind or shortsighted...". Repent! [suka!]
I re-introduced myself to discipline once again and it was pretty humbling. [suka!]
I have a lot of things I want to write... but for now.. enjoy melancholy.
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