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Friday, December 30, 2011
Life Lessons I learned in 2011


As the year comes to an end, its great to take a little time to look back and ponder on what you can take from what happened this year, 2011, and use it as a charge for 2012. I came up with a little list of life lessons that I believe helped me this year and will help me next year.

1. It's all about Grace.
This year has been an amazing year for me: I met new friends, lost some 'friends', got promoted, failed, got married, and etc. But I can honestly say that everything that happened is always a display of God's favor to me. It's really hard to explain so I would like to lead you to my other blog: www.restfulincrease.org so you can read more about my journey in God's Grace.

2. Travel.
This year I've traveled outside the Philippines more than I've traveled in the past. I used to just love staying home and just be in my comfort zone but this year I discovered something really amazing about travel - it makes you a better person.:) Traveling to other countries expands your understanding about people, culture, possibilities, and behaviors. It makes you ask the two most powerful question in life: Why? and Why Not? And when you start asking questions, you become better.

In the past, I just hoped to travel outside the country but that's all it really is "hope". This year I took a little risk and went out of the country. Yes it cost me money but the returns are quite higher than the investment. Let me leave you this quote by Paulo Coelho that I've read from the book Aleph - "Travel is never a matter of money but of courage."

3. People matters.
In this life, people matters a lot. When me and my wife-to-be prepared a list for my wedding, I discovered something very interesting (I think I already knew about it but I was just in denial), she has more guests than I have. In fact, almost all of our principal sponsors for the wedding are the people she knows. I started to realized that for the past 28 years of my life, I have never really too much investment with people. So this year, I socializing is a key element that I wish I did more.

Get out there and meet people. Join a club. Pursue a hobby that involves others. Build a community. There are many ways to meet people you just have to take time.

4. Value your job.
There is a saying that goes, finding a job is hard; finding a job that you love is even harder.:) I've seen people waste their time in their job. I think if we only learn to value our job, then we will be doing better. But how can we value our job? To me, to value what we do on a day to day basis is to find significance in our success and failures in our work or business. When we find that significance then it would be easy to value one's work.

Let me leave you with a popular quote on work: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.


5. Get Married.
I got married earlier this month. Me and Joyce prepared for everything and it turned out to be a very wonderful wedding. If you are a guy and you have a serious girlfriend for a long time now, then let me ask you this, "What are you waiting for?Get married." If you are already living together with your lover, then get married! What are you afraid of?

Getting married can be scary if you ask the wrong people. People who are already married and who are very critical about should be noted only as reference but not as a textbook. Understand that people's beliefs are contagious. The more you listen to people who are critical about marriage then you will find yourself becoming critical yourself. But if you surround yourself with people who has a positive outlook of marriage then their belief will also rub off on you. Get married.

I've also written down my other life lessons in the past:
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Monday, September 26, 2011
Letters to Juliet: "What If?"


Last weekend, I stumbled upon the movie Letters To Juliet. It's a story about Sophie who works as a fact checker on a publishing firm. One day Sophie took a vacation slash meet the suppliers to Italy with her fiancee, Victor. In Italy, Sophie found the secretaries of Juliet, a group of women who replies to women who writes to Juliet. The twist came when Sophie replied to a letter written 50 years ago by a woman who ran away from the love of her life. The woman is Claire and she is now way past her prime but the letter that Sophie wrote encouraged her to look for her long lost love. Eventually Claire found the man of her life and they got married and the letter that Sophie wrote was read after the wedding and it goes:

"What and if are two words as nonthreatening as words can be, 
but put them together side by side and they 
have the power to haunt you the rest of your life."
What if?....what if?...

"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will."
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Saturday, September 24, 2011
I am getting MARRIED


It was October of 2010 when I asked my girlfriend to marry me. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. Now I am about three months away from tying the knot and its a more exciting time in my life. I still remembered writing an article as to why I am not yet married and on that article I justified that I am not ready to get married. Now, it does not make sense anymore not to get married. Tying the knot is the most right thing to do at this time. Why? Well, its another post in itself and it is a very special thing for me. I hope to write about it.

OK back to my wedding, for the the past 11 months I have been preparing for the wedding. I am planning to write some articles about wedding; things that I learned as I was meeting suppliers, designing my wedding, going to counseling sessions, and keeping my sanity. So far it was a fun process. I hope to share them to you some day.

But for now, I'd just like to share that I am getting MARRIED! :)
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Friday, August 05, 2011
Lifehack: Fastest way to learn about anything without reading a book.


In one of my previous posts, I wrote,  If you don't like reading books but still wants to be a learner, read this.  And there I discuss about how audio learning can help you become more productive and more informed. Still I found that there is a faster way to listening to podcast and audiobooks to learn something. I also recognize that there are limitations to audio learning. One of them is not having an audio player and another would be getting the audio material itself. If you want  to learn a new language for example, you have to buy an audiobook for that language and audio learning can be limited. Nevertheless, I see a lot of advantage in audio learning. It's easy to do and it makes good use of your time.

What I would like to share today is a much easier and (hopefully) more fun way of learning something new. I find that this is the fastest way to get information and the technique I would like to share is very simple because you do this everyday. What is it? It's talking to people.

Yes, the technique is to talk to people and learn something new. If you want to learn a new language, look for someone who can speak that language and talk to that person. You can ask him or her to talk to you as you study the language. In due time, you will be able to have a conversational level of communication using that language. 
Few weeks ago, I was asked to learn about Business Process Outsourcing and even though I am an IT person, I have no idea about BPOs. But then I know people who has some ideas and so I asked a favor to them to meet with me over a cup of coffee to talk about the industry. In few minutes I was able to understand what it is all about. Then I was asked to learn the technical aspect of the BPO, so I called a friend who was able to set up call centers all over the country and over coffee he gave me the information I need to jump start learning about these industry. Had I relied on books, I would not be able to get that information faster and on a much more comprehensible package. I was able to learn a lot in a very short time.

You can interview businessmen and women to learn about business. Many of these successful businessmen and women surprisingly will give time to talk to you and teach you a thing or two about who they were able to arrive at their current situation. If you want to excel in your career, talk to the top guy or gal in your industry and ask how they did it or what are their stories. Sometimes, it is just a matter of asking them and then you will get the time.

The great thing about this technique is that there are so many people around thus you have so many resource person available for you. 

Learning through conversation with people are often just means for you to jump start your quest to learning deeper which may involve reading a book later or listening to an audiobook. But the important thing about learning from talking with people is that you can start something that has work for other people and this tips might work for you as well.

So get connected and start learning from others.
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Friday, July 29, 2011
If you don't like reading books but still wants to be a learner, read this.

 



“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.”  - Harry S. Truman

If you want to lead in your organization or your company, you need to read books. I found this very true in my life and many people's life. I found that many leaders today are readers of books. There is something powerful about reading that it makes the reader a little smarter. But what if you do not like to read books?


I find myself in this category. I do not like reading. Yes, I've read books in the past but it has always been a struggle to do so. Also I found that I take more time reading any book compared to my friends. So what's the alternative?

All leaders are readers because they are learners so the key is not just reading it is learning. Over 5 years ago when I found the "magical" power of audio learning. I call it magical because I found myself easily recalling many of the concepts and facts that I hear from an audiobook or podcast. I found that I am a listener and not a reader. So what I did (and still doing) is that when I am on transit on my way home, I just pop in my headphone and scroll in my iPod audiobooks and sermons that I would like to hear. I see this as a better use of my time while waiting to get home. On my way home or on my way to the office, I learn something new about many things, things that I enjoy learning about. I normally spend 45 minutes going to the office and another 45 minutes going back home so that's over an hour or learning in a day. I listen to an audiobook average of  5 times a week which translates to around 6-7 hours learning a week. That's equivalent to half of a semester of graduate studies. Remember that this 6-7 hours of learning is not time taken from my other activities since I am using my idle time while I am traveling.

Where can you get these audio materials?
You can buy them from Amazon or get them from Audible.com
You can also get free podcasts from iTunes.

Buy yourself an mp3 player or an iPod then load it with podcasts and audiobooks.

Whatever your way of learning is, make sure that you are enjoying it. Relax, learn, and discover the miracle of audio learning.:)
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Thursday, July 28, 2011
Can you fake it til you make it?

There is a common phrase that says, "you got to fake it til you make it". This phrase became a philosophy for many people; they act successful and look successful so that they will become successful. They act to be larger than life in hope that one day they will become. I know some people who follows this principle and I even tried to do this in the past but I found out that it's not for me. I personally believe that its the one of the great self deception that a person can succumb into. I believe that faking yourself to be someone real will lead to delusion. The delusion that you already are successful when you are not.

So what is the alternative? I believe that there is a stronger way of life to "faking it" philosophy and that is "being instead of becoming". The "faking it til you make it" philosophy gives you the idea that you have not yet become. It means that you came from defeat to victory. So my proposal is, "Be" and then you "Become". This way to come from the point of victory to victory.

Whatever your approach to life is, make sure that you are not fooling yourself because the greatest form of deception is self-deception. Enjoy life, it's a waste of time spending it as someone else.:)
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Speak From the Heart



Whenever I am invited to speak in public and I feel unprepared, I would close my eyes and remind myself to speak from the heart. And when I start speaking, I am no longer afraid what I will be saying because I believe that when I speak from the heart, I could never go wrong.

A lot of speakers use words that they think would wow the listeners but in speaking from the heart there is a sense of fluidity and naturalness that's involve in the speech that makes it more emphatic than just putting words together. When you speak from the heart words tends to become more powerful than usual and often times more moving.  

When you speak from the heart you tend to become less conscious on what you memorized and you focus on what you understand. Of course you might end up showing that you do not understand the subject matter but I think it's better than trying to appear knowledgeable. If you have no idea what the subject is then you can start by being honest and say, "You know I have no idea what it's all about." And then start talking about what you think it means.

When you speak from the heart you are less focus on what others will say and more in tuned to how you feel about the matter. When you speak from the heart, you forget the technique and focus on conveying your thoughts and to me that is where the power of words lies.
So the next time around that you will be speaking in public and you do not feel prepared, close your eyes and remind yourself to speak from the heart.
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Thursday, February 17, 2011
#2 Horizontal Skill that Can Massively Impact Your Career


In my previous post, I talked about the importance if developing communication skills and I have talked about how to improve communication and that is through adding emotion to words. Today, I would like to talk about #2 horizontal skill that will make a lot of difference in your and my career and that is INITIATIVE.

Conrad Hilton, founder of Hilton hotels, said it beautifully when he said, "Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Because when it comes to becoming a success, takingINITIATIVE is key. People who has the initiative takes action and keeps himself and the organization he or she is in in motion. These are the people who does not go with the flow but differentiates themselves from the flock by taking positive actions that the majority does not make or just dream of doing. Yes, you will be surprised how many dreamers are there in this world. There are so many people who are filled with good intentions but only very few makes their good intentions happen. One quote that I never forget about taking action is this, "No one ever got married by just staring at each other."

You might think that this is very basic and that is true because what I am sharing are fundamentals to success. These are basic and easy to derived but you will be surprise that very few are doing this. I surmised that only 3% of every organization recognizes the fundamentals thus setting them apart from the 97%. Master motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, once gave this challenge, "Walk away from the 97%".

In the past, I desired to be always in the background, never leading just camouflage in the middle thinking that if you are in the middle you will not make a lot of mistakes thus saving you from a lot of embarrassment but soon I found some people in the organization that I am in, is getting the promotions and success that I so eagerly desire. So I asked myself, what are they doing that I am not doing? I realized that these people are taking actions that the majority are not doing thus making them "visible" and more attractive to success. Yes you attract success and not pursue it and one of the ways to attract success is to be valuable to the marketplace. To be valuable is to take initiative.

How do you take initiative?
1. Pay attention. You would be surprised that there are so many problems in the organization that no one is paying attention to. Ordinary people do not go into details and pay attention so when you notice these problems and try to find another way to solve them, you will find yourself on the flow and in the mind-set of a problem solver.

2. Be a problem solver. A lot of people complain; the average person whine and whine and are always victim to something. But the winners are problem solvers. When you take the mantle of being a problem solver, you are differentiating yourself from the mundane. Even if you solve a little problem, the little things you solve in the organization will soon accumulate to something favorable to you. Jim Rohn said it nicely when he said, "Life accumulates. And I'm either accumulating debt that I'll be sorry for or I am accumulating value that I'll be happy about."

3. Just do it. It is said that there are just two brand of shoes that you need to wear: Nike and Addidas; because when you want to do something, you need to Just Do Itand if you think it is impossible or you are against an insurmountable odds then you just have to tell yourself that Impossible is Nothing. So just do it. Just take action and keep moving. If at first, things are not going your way, just wait and be patient just continue to take action and learn from your mistakes. Sometimes you make it and sometimes you don't make it but that's just part of growing up. So Just do it.

So whatever industry you are in, you could be a student, a businessman, an employee, a manager, or a middle-manager, you can be sure that taking INITIATIVEwill bring you closer to your goal.

Next post, I will expound on the next horizontal skill - SYNTHESIS.
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Monday, February 07, 2011
Three Most POWERFUL HORIZONTAL SKILLS That Can Massively Impact Your Career




In life and in career, skills development is key. In fact, I found that those people who has mastery over a certain set of skills often get ahead in their career. There has been much literary work talking about the importance of skills development but what I would like to do today is to focus your attention on THREE KEY HORIZONTAL skills. The keyword from what I just said is HORIZONTAL. Allow me to explain the concept of HORIZONTAL SKILLS by talking about its counterpart, the VERTICAL SKILLS. Vertical skills are skills that focuses on depth and not on breadth. Think of it as a line running from north to south and as you go south you get very specific on that particular skill and you will learn things that are not available or relevant on any discipline. Going vertical is simply a process of specialization of skills. So when you are a doctor or an engineer or a nurse or a plumber or a programmer, you are actually specializing on one particular area and this is very important in your career.


Horizontal skills on another hand are skills that can be applied in almost all areas of specialization. This is a skill that runs from east to west crossing boundaries of specialization. What is good about these skills is that once you develop this skills it will augment your specialized skills. So what are these three Most POWERFUL HORIZONTAL SKILLS ?

For this post allow me to share one of the three key skills and I will share other two on following post.
1. Ability to Communicate.
Communication is a key skill because without it, it is impossible to prosper in your career and specialize on a particular subject. Having an excellent communication skill will enable to you become a better doctor, nurse, accountant, engineer, programmer, and manager. So develop your communication skills and you can do that by:
1. reading a book,
2. joining Toastmasters organization,
3. listening and studying how speakers deliver there point,
4. and paying attention to how actors, politician, and teachers bring their point across.

Communication is not just about talking. Communication can be non-verbal and non-verbal form of communication can strengthen or weaken your point. Imagine saying YES while your body is saying NO. Will it not affect your effectiveness as a speaker? Of course it will because it will confuse your audience.

You probably had an experience where you went into a concert where the performer just sings without so much body language; she just stands there singing doing nothing else. How do you feel? Do you feel fine with it? Even though she has a beautiful voice you would probably feel that she can make it more beautiful by adding a little head movement or eye and hand motion.

Why do you feel this way? Because the body communicates and it says more than what the words say. So in every area in life, communication is really an important skill to develop.

How do you become a better communicator?

I know I have given few tips above but allow me to drop a little tip in improving the way you communicate. OK, so words are powerful so think of words as push pins.So when you try to push that to the body of a person you will realize that it will affect him or her physically. Yes because it would probably hurt her. But what will make it more effective is when you put emotions together with it. Think of emotion as a pole and when you try to combine the push pin and the pole, it will become aSPEAR and with it, you can easily push that push pin through the heart of a person. So WORDS loaded with EMOTION will really impact the life of the people listening to you.



So become a better communicator, study how to communicate and use WORDSloaded with EMOTION. Once you do that you will be sure that your words will become more powerful and it will definitely impact your career.


Next post I will talk about the Ability to Initiate.
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