Drowning times

Many times I thought that it's all up to me. Self-help gurus somehow convinced me that it’s all up to me. The statements, "I am responsible." "I can do it." " I have the personal power." "I can make it work." "I have what it takes." rings through my head. While they are not really wrong it gave me a sense of non-reliance to God's bigger plan. I began to think I could do it all. And probably like a proud Father, God looks at me and feel proud I gain a little confidence on myself but as a loving Dad, He probably began be concerned of me feeling that I don't need Him anymore. He is very concerned that with this kind of attitude I will surely not walk under His plans and it will bring me trouble.
And that's where I went. I got into trouble. Somehow the self-appraising words no longer hits me as strong a before. As reality bites my butt like a dog wanting a piece of me I began to feel the fangs of life. I look up and the skies don’t seem as blue and as bright as before. I only see a storm coming. And like Peter walking on water I began to sink. The waters of trouble is neck-deep. "I can't do it", I thought. "Can I make it?” I asked. "Why? What went wrong?” I asked some more. Then I cried for help,” HELP!" I called on my loving Dad. Just when I thought my voice was left unheard, my Father dived into the water and rescued me from totally drowning in sin and death.

With a guilty look I look at Him and said the words "I'm sorry" quite a number of times until I forgot to count them. He looked at me as if He didn't mind the words that I've said. He was not angry. No. He was there staring at me. Lovingly. Like the Father of the prodigal son, He wrapped His arms around me and cried. He said in a very loving voice, “Son, I love you so much. I wouldn't want you do astray. I'm glad you came back."

"I can do it. Through Christ who strengthens me." I can make it in this life because I have a Father who cares for me. I have a Dad who would die for me if necessary so that I will live.