My Sedentary Lifestyle.

"One of the hardest fact for a Christian to comprehend is the fact that God loves him/her." - Darlene Zhchech (Shout to the Lord)


When I first realized that God, the creator of heaven and earth, is on my side and He is not against me and my concern is His priority, I cried, I repented, I broke down, my heart bowed down, I felt loved. Cared. A sense of peace and awe enveloped me. I heard a language that no word could speak - the language of Love.

Then, I sinned against God and somehow that sin placed a wall in between me and God. I feel that I cannot come to Him anymore. I feel that I need to be clean so that God can take me back to Himself. I cannot be clean and the more I tried to be clean the more I feel far from God. I can never say to God, "Lord, I am clean. Now, I can come back to you." Many times I thought, I can be worthy but I can never be worthy. Sin has overcame me everytime I try to be clean. Many times, I keep telling myself, I don't care if God loves me or not but I'm not really sure if I don't really care. I think I do care. I thought, "This life is worthless without God. I can go on existing but not really living. To live without meaning is not really living." Then I decided to come back and ask God's forgiveness. I cannot prove anything to God. I told the Lord, "I gave up. I have nowhere else to go. I have no one else to come to. And now I come to you."

Then the Lord smiled and told me, "My grace is enough. You don't have to work your way to Me. My grace has done that for you. I am here waiting for you. I still and will always love you."

Then I brokedown, and bowdown, and stood in awe of His mercy and forgiveness. My heart boweddown and my hands held high saying, "Forgive me...".

- The Lost Scribe