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Tuesday, December 31, 2013
The Four Emotions That Can Lead to Life Change by Jim Rohn

The Four Emotions That Can Lead to Life Change by Jim Rohn




Emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the power of emotions, human beings can perform the most heroic (as well as barbaric) acts. To a great degree, civilization itself can be defined as the intelligent channeling of human emotion. Emotions are fuel and the mind is the pilot, which together propel the ship of civilized progress.
Which emotions cause people to act? There are four basic ones; each, or a combination of several, can trigger the most incredible activity. The day that you allow these emotions to fuel your desire is the day you’ll turn your life around.
Disgust
One does not usually equate the word “disgust” with positive action. And yet properly channeled, disgust can change a person’s life. The person who feels disgusted has reached a point of no return. He or she is ready to throw down the gauntlet at life and say, “I’ve had it!” That’s what I said after many humiliating experiences at age 25. I said, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’ve had it with being broke. I’ve had it with being embarrassed, and I’ve had it with lying.”
Yes, productive feelings of disgust come when a person says, “Enough is enough.”
The “guy” has finally had it with mediocrity. He’s had it with those awful sick feelings of fear, pain and humiliation. He then decides he is “not going to live like this anymore.” Look out! This could be the day that turns a life around. Call it what you will: the “I’ve had it” day, the “never again” day, the “enough’s enough” day. Whatever you call it, it’s powerful! There is nothing so life-changing as gut-wrenching disgust!
Decision
Most of us need to be pushed to the wall to make decisions. And once we reach this point, we have to deal with the conflicting emotions that come with making them. We have reached a fork in the road. Now this fork can be a two-prong, three-prong, or even a four-prong fork. No wonder that decision-making can create knots in stomachs, keep us awake in the middle of the night, or make us break out in a cold sweat.
Making life-changing decisions can be likened to internal civil war. Conflicting armies of emotions, each with its own arsenal of reasons, battle each other for supremacy of our minds. And our resulting decisions, whether bold or timid, well thought out or impulsive, can either set the course of action or blind it.
I don’t have much advice to give you about decision-making except this: Whatever you do, don’t camp at the fork in the road. Decide. It’s far better to make a wrong decision than to not make one at all. Each of us must confront our emotional turmoil and sort out our feelings.
Desire
How does one gain desire? I don’t think I can answer this directly because there are many ways. But I do know two things about desire:
A. It comes from the inside not the outside.
B. It can be triggered by outside forces.
Almost anything can trigger desire. It’s a matter of timing as much as preparation. It might be a song that tugs at the heart. It might be a memorable sermon. It might be a movie, a conversation with a friend, a confrontation with the enemy, or a bitter experience. Even a book or an article such as this one can trigger the inner mechanism that will make some people say, “I want it now!”
Therefore, while searching for your “hot button” of pure, raw desire, welcome into your life each positive experience. Don’t erect a wall to protect you from experiencing life. The same wall that keeps out your disappointment also keeps out the sunlight of enriching experiences. So let life touch you. The next touch could be the one that turns your life around.
Resolve
Resolve says, “I will.” These two words are among the most potent in the English language. I WILL. Benjamin Disraeli, the great British statesman, once said, “Nothing can resist a human will that will stake even its existence on the extent of its purpose.” In other words, when someone resolves to “do or die,” nothing can stop him.
The mountain climber says, “I will climb the mountain. They’ve told me it’s too high, it’s too far, it’s too steep, it’s too rocky, it’s too difficult. But it’s my mountain. I will climb it. You’ll soon see me waving from the top or you’ll never see me, because unless I reach the peak, I’m not coming back.” Who can argue with such resolve?
When confronted with such iron-will determination, I can see Time, Fate and Circumstance calling a hasty conference and deciding, “We might as well let him have his dream. He’s said he’s going to get there or die trying.”
The best definition for “resolve” I’ve ever heard came from a schoolgirl in Foster City, California. As is my custom, I was lecturing about success to a group of bright kids at a junior high school. I asked, “Who can tell me what ‘resolve’ means?” Several hands went up, and I did get some pretty good definitions. But the last was the best. A shy girl from the back of the room got up and said with quiet intensity, “I think resolve means promising yourself you will never give up.” That’s it! That’s the best definition I’ve ever heard: PROMISE YOURSELF YOU’LL NEVER GIVE UP.
Think about it! How long should a baby try to learn how to walk? How long would you give the average baby before you say, “That’s it, you’ve had your chance”? You say that’s crazy? Of course it is. Any mother would say, “My baby is going to keep trying until he learns how to walk!” No wonder everyone walks.
There is a vital lesson in this. Ask yourself, “How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?” I suggest you answer, “As long as it takes.” That’s what these four emotions are all about.
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Monday, December 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
So you want to start your own business?



I don't know why but I seem to be surrounded with people who want to build their own business. Or maybe it is just a trend nowadays. Few weeks back, I heard friends telling me that they are thinking (and re-thinking) of building their own businesses.'So you want to start your own business?', I asked my friend. 'Yes I am.', answered my friend proudly. I am excited for them. I believe that second to having more law-implementers, this country needs more businessmen. Business builds industries and industries builds nations.However many dreamers fall for the basic pitfalls of starting a business.

Pitfall #1. Unclear and Multiple Goals.
Pitfall #2. Paralysis Analysis

They key to all of this is to have one clear goal of what you need to do and just start something. Adjust the sail along the way. Do not over analyze anything just get going. It is important to plan but execution is more important. Keep pushing forward. If there is a need to test the market do so just keep moving forward. Ask for advice but overall if you truly believe in your goal then your belief should have the final say.
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Friday, August 31, 2012
No job security? What can you do?


Times are changing and it's changing fast. Change can happen in an instant and many lives are affected. Nowadays, you hear a lot of news about companies closing or workforce cutting. Two to three decades ago, the employee stays with the company all their lives and when they retire they get retirement packages and lives on pension. Today, the idea of job security needs some rethinking. Is there such thing as job security? Does the idea of get-a-secure-and-stable-job-and-stay-there-until-retirement still holds water? Recently news on job cutting and retrenchment is filling the airwaves and many of us cannot help but think, "Am I next?" This question tortures the minds of many employees across the globe. The fear of being 'next' is oftentimes paralyzing because it arousing the feeling of helplessness.  

But is there something we can do? The philosophy surrounding jobs before no longer holds true. Adhering to these philosophies does more harm in today's employee. What are these philosophies? Here are some example:
1. I am entitled to job security.
2. I am secure because I am with the company for X years.
3. I work only within my job description.

What are the new philosophies in today's market?
1. You create your security. You are not secure because the company says so. You are secure because you know that no matter what happens to the company you have the skills to make it in the marketplace. The more skill you have the more valuable you are.

2. It's all about creating value. You are paid not because of the time that you give to the company but because of the value that you bring on the day-to-day basis. So your goal is to be able to create and bring value. Coming to the office at 8AM and leaving at 5PM is NOT A GOOD GOAL.

3. Be valuable. Be multi-skilled. Invest an hour a day for your technical and personal growth. Understand the marketplace. Where is the market going? What value can I give with this information?

If you do that then you don't have to think if you are 'next'. All you need to improve is your value. How valuable are you? What skills do you have that others don't have? 

There is no such thing as job security. But you can help yourself by building your value in the marketplace.
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Thursday, August 23, 2012
Should I join this networking company?



"Should I join this networking company?", asked a good friend. I shared to her the many times I got burned by a networking company. One time, I joined a company then in a few month, the company closed. In another, I invested money only to find out that there is something wrong with the product. This is not a post about avoiding networking at all cost. This is a post on a guide to Filipinos on what are the things to watch out for before deciding to join the company. I have written few rules that I use before I decide to join a networking company. Following the rules will minimize the risk that you are going into (any business has a risk or two tied up to it). 

#1.The Company needs to be registered in Direct Seller's Association of the Philippines. I used to say that as long as a company is SEC or BIR registered that it's OK. But after seeing two companies close, I made it a number one rule - not part of DSAP then I will have to think much about it. 

 #2. Majority of your earning should come from product movements and not on recruitment. There are many companies now that gives huge incentives if you can recruit new members. In the end you will find out that recruitment has become the 'heart and soul' of the company. This is really bad because a real business should earn from sales and not recruitment. I always say, 'if you profit due to recruitment then maybe your company is an HR company'. Also, I would like to point out here that the compensation plan should be good. You cannot waste your energy on compensation plans that are weak.

 #3. The Company needs to have good track record (OLD and STRONG). Old is safer. The old ones are less likely to fail. I know owners of start-up MLM company might hate me for this but think about it OLD MLM companies has more established systems than the new ones. 

#4. The Company needs to be innovative. It's not enough to be OLD, the company needs to have INNOVATION. Why? Because without INNOVATION, you will have less chance for profit. You need to ask what are the products that the company is planning to launch in the future?

 #5. The Company needs to have good training. Good training is the KEY to success in any business. The promise is that MLM is like a franchise. When you buy any franchise you need to be trained to run your business. It's not enough for the company to have training in recruiting. You need to have training in leadership, communication, product knowledge, and others.

To me these are simple rules to keep in mind before you join any MLM company. The industry in itself has birthed many millionaires in the past. Some companies lure people into thinking that you will earn a lot just by 'talking to your friends'. This is not really the whole package. Joining an MLM business is a matter of picking the right company for you. I hope that you will find the right one for you.
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Thursday, July 12, 2012
Look at the stars and don't give up!


I believe that each one of us is born for success. You don't believe me? Think about it. Out of the millions of sperms that your father released to your mother, it is the sperms that contains your DNA who won the prize - egg. Each of our lives started with a race and yet for some reason you (who is reading this) won that race! You are born for success.:) I know it may sounds simplistic (and hopefully funny) but that is the truth! God created you to reign in life! That's the reason why every time you feel that you are not winning you feel out of place. Your place is to win!

What separates the winners from the losers is the ability to remember who they really are. Winners remembers that they are winner thus they continue to try some more. Losers forgets who they are and starts losing hope. If you forget that your place is to win then you simply give up. If you lose hope in this life or in a project or in your family then its easy to slip by and accept defeat. But if you remember that you are created for success then you simply look pass your circumstances and lift your head for the brighter future.

There are times when its hard to resist the temptation to give up. This is the best time to look up and see the bright sky. When the great Patriarch Abraham got discourage, God told Abraham to look at the stars in the sky and count the stars. God told Abraham that the numbers of the stars in the skies would equal the number of his descendants. The good news is, there are countless stars in the skies! In another occasion, God told Abraham to look at the sands in the dessert and He said that Abraham's descendants will be as many as the sands in the dessert. Today, we see Abraham's numerous descendants!

Do not give up! Look at the stars in the skies. The band Switchfoot has a very interesting song titled Stars and chorus goes like this:

But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I see someone else

When I look at the stars, 
the stars, I feel like myself

Look at the stars and see someone else - some one who is succeeding in life. Look at the stars and feel like yourself again - a winner!
Again look at the stars in the evening and the sands in the morning and know that the plan of God for you will never fail.

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Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Fight For Your Dreams

The world will tell you to quit on your dreams. People around you wants to get by and drift. If you forget your dreams, you wake up one day very old and no longer has the strength to see your dreams come to pass. It's easy to believe God for small things and pray small or pray zero prayers. But that is not faith because faith is when it seemed impossible. Faith is when we say move forward to win despite of the odds. Faith is one more step when you are tired and ready to give up. Faith is seeing that you are a victor and not a victim. Faith is not letting your circumstance define you; it is understanding that the circumstance is serving you.

The world will tell you to give up. Many of the people around you already gave up on their dreams. But you are different  because you are a person who did not lose sight of your God-given dream. You are like Moses, who despite of being surrounded by complainers choose to listen to the voice of God and not men! You are like Joshua, who understand that the only destination is the Promise Land. You cannot settle in the wilderness! You cannot camp in and be comfortable in the wilderness. God gave you a dream; a mission not to be ordinary but to be significant.

God will tell you that you are loved. He, unlike men, will not waiver in His trust in you. He understands that even when the crucifixion is certain, resurrection and victory will surpass it. He understands that when the world's provision stops is a time for the miraculous. Jesus did the impossible- to bring a wayward man back to His Holy Dad. You are His child and inside of you is the One who understands that Nothing is Impossible with Him. You cannot be discouraged in life's adversity. You cannot allow your dreams to die. You cannot give up. You must fight for your dreams.
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Friday, December 30, 2011
Life Lessons I learned in 2011


As the year comes to an end, its great to take a little time to look back and ponder on what you can take from what happened this year, 2011, and use it as a charge for 2012. I came up with a little list of life lessons that I believe helped me this year and will help me next year.

1. It's all about Grace.
This year has been an amazing year for me: I met new friends, lost some 'friends', got promoted, failed, got married, and etc. But I can honestly say that everything that happened is always a display of God's favor to me. It's really hard to explain so I would like to lead you to my other blog: www.restfulincrease.org so you can read more about my journey in God's Grace.

2. Travel.
This year I've traveled outside the Philippines more than I've traveled in the past. I used to just love staying home and just be in my comfort zone but this year I discovered something really amazing about travel - it makes you a better person.:) Traveling to other countries expands your understanding about people, culture, possibilities, and behaviors. It makes you ask the two most powerful question in life: Why? and Why Not? And when you start asking questions, you become better.

In the past, I just hoped to travel outside the country but that's all it really is "hope". This year I took a little risk and went out of the country. Yes it cost me money but the returns are quite higher than the investment. Let me leave you this quote by Paulo Coelho that I've read from the book Aleph - "Travel is never a matter of money but of courage."

3. People matters.
In this life, people matters a lot. When me and my wife-to-be prepared a list for my wedding, I discovered something very interesting (I think I already knew about it but I was just in denial), she has more guests than I have. In fact, almost all of our principal sponsors for the wedding are the people she knows. I started to realized that for the past 28 years of my life, I have never really too much investment with people. So this year, I socializing is a key element that I wish I did more.

Get out there and meet people. Join a club. Pursue a hobby that involves others. Build a community. There are many ways to meet people you just have to take time.

4. Value your job.
There is a saying that goes, finding a job is hard; finding a job that you love is even harder.:) I've seen people waste their time in their job. I think if we only learn to value our job, then we will be doing better. But how can we value our job? To me, to value what we do on a day to day basis is to find significance in our success and failures in our work or business. When we find that significance then it would be easy to value one's work.

Let me leave you with a popular quote on work: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.


5. Get Married.
I got married earlier this month. Me and Joyce prepared for everything and it turned out to be a very wonderful wedding. If you are a guy and you have a serious girlfriend for a long time now, then let me ask you this, "What are you waiting for?Get married." If you are already living together with your lover, then get married! What are you afraid of?

Getting married can be scary if you ask the wrong people. People who are already married and who are very critical about should be noted only as reference but not as a textbook. Understand that people's beliefs are contagious. The more you listen to people who are critical about marriage then you will find yourself becoming critical yourself. But if you surround yourself with people who has a positive outlook of marriage then their belief will also rub off on you. Get married.

I've also written down my other life lessons in the past:
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Monday, September 26, 2011
Letters to Juliet: "What If?"


Last weekend, I stumbled upon the movie Letters To Juliet. It's a story about Sophie who works as a fact checker on a publishing firm. One day Sophie took a vacation slash meet the suppliers to Italy with her fiancee, Victor. In Italy, Sophie found the secretaries of Juliet, a group of women who replies to women who writes to Juliet. The twist came when Sophie replied to a letter written 50 years ago by a woman who ran away from the love of her life. The woman is Claire and she is now way past her prime but the letter that Sophie wrote encouraged her to look for her long lost love. Eventually Claire found the man of her life and they got married and the letter that Sophie wrote was read after the wedding and it goes:

"What and if are two words as nonthreatening as words can be, 
but put them together side by side and they 
have the power to haunt you the rest of your life."
What if?....what if?...

"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will."
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Saturday, September 24, 2011
I am getting MARRIED


It was October of 2010 when I asked my girlfriend to marry me. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. Now I am about three months away from tying the knot and its a more exciting time in my life. I still remembered writing an article as to why I am not yet married and on that article I justified that I am not ready to get married. Now, it does not make sense anymore not to get married. Tying the knot is the most right thing to do at this time. Why? Well, its another post in itself and it is a very special thing for me. I hope to write about it.

OK back to my wedding, for the the past 11 months I have been preparing for the wedding. I am planning to write some articles about wedding; things that I learned as I was meeting suppliers, designing my wedding, going to counseling sessions, and keeping my sanity. So far it was a fun process. I hope to share them to you some day.

But for now, I'd just like to share that I am getting MARRIED! :)
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Friday, August 05, 2011
Lifehack: Fastest way to learn about anything without reading a book.


In one of my previous posts, I wrote,  If you don't like reading books but still wants to be a learner, read this.  And there I discuss about how audio learning can help you become more productive and more informed. Still I found that there is a faster way to listening to podcast and audiobooks to learn something. I also recognize that there are limitations to audio learning. One of them is not having an audio player and another would be getting the audio material itself. If you want  to learn a new language for example, you have to buy an audiobook for that language and audio learning can be limited. Nevertheless, I see a lot of advantage in audio learning. It's easy to do and it makes good use of your time.

What I would like to share today is a much easier and (hopefully) more fun way of learning something new. I find that this is the fastest way to get information and the technique I would like to share is very simple because you do this everyday. What is it? It's talking to people.

Yes, the technique is to talk to people and learn something new. If you want to learn a new language, look for someone who can speak that language and talk to that person. You can ask him or her to talk to you as you study the language. In due time, you will be able to have a conversational level of communication using that language. 
Few weeks ago, I was asked to learn about Business Process Outsourcing and even though I am an IT person, I have no idea about BPOs. But then I know people who has some ideas and so I asked a favor to them to meet with me over a cup of coffee to talk about the industry. In few minutes I was able to understand what it is all about. Then I was asked to learn the technical aspect of the BPO, so I called a friend who was able to set up call centers all over the country and over coffee he gave me the information I need to jump start learning about these industry. Had I relied on books, I would not be able to get that information faster and on a much more comprehensible package. I was able to learn a lot in a very short time.

You can interview businessmen and women to learn about business. Many of these successful businessmen and women surprisingly will give time to talk to you and teach you a thing or two about who they were able to arrive at their current situation. If you want to excel in your career, talk to the top guy or gal in your industry and ask how they did it or what are their stories. Sometimes, it is just a matter of asking them and then you will get the time.

The great thing about this technique is that there are so many people around thus you have so many resource person available for you. 

Learning through conversation with people are often just means for you to jump start your quest to learning deeper which may involve reading a book later or listening to an audiobook. But the important thing about learning from talking with people is that you can start something that has work for other people and this tips might work for you as well.

So get connected and start learning from others.
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Friday, July 29, 2011
If you don't like reading books but still wants to be a learner, read this.

 



“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.”  - Harry S. Truman

If you want to lead in your organization or your company, you need to read books. I found this very true in my life and many people's life. I found that many leaders today are readers of books. There is something powerful about reading that it makes the reader a little smarter. But what if you do not like to read books?


I find myself in this category. I do not like reading. Yes, I've read books in the past but it has always been a struggle to do so. Also I found that I take more time reading any book compared to my friends. So what's the alternative?

All leaders are readers because they are learners so the key is not just reading it is learning. Over 5 years ago when I found the "magical" power of audio learning. I call it magical because I found myself easily recalling many of the concepts and facts that I hear from an audiobook or podcast. I found that I am a listener and not a reader. So what I did (and still doing) is that when I am on transit on my way home, I just pop in my headphone and scroll in my iPod audiobooks and sermons that I would like to hear. I see this as a better use of my time while waiting to get home. On my way home or on my way to the office, I learn something new about many things, things that I enjoy learning about. I normally spend 45 minutes going to the office and another 45 minutes going back home so that's over an hour or learning in a day. I listen to an audiobook average of  5 times a week which translates to around 6-7 hours learning a week. That's equivalent to half of a semester of graduate studies. Remember that this 6-7 hours of learning is not time taken from my other activities since I am using my idle time while I am traveling.

Where can you get these audio materials?
You can buy them from Amazon or get them from Audible.com
You can also get free podcasts from iTunes.

Buy yourself an mp3 player or an iPod then load it with podcasts and audiobooks.

Whatever your way of learning is, make sure that you are enjoying it. Relax, learn, and discover the miracle of audio learning.:)
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Thursday, July 28, 2011
Can you fake it til you make it?

There is a common phrase that says, "you got to fake it til you make it". This phrase became a philosophy for many people; they act successful and look successful so that they will become successful. They act to be larger than life in hope that one day they will become. I know some people who follows this principle and I even tried to do this in the past but I found out that it's not for me. I personally believe that its the one of the great self deception that a person can succumb into. I believe that faking yourself to be someone real will lead to delusion. The delusion that you already are successful when you are not.

So what is the alternative? I believe that there is a stronger way of life to "faking it" philosophy and that is "being instead of becoming". The "faking it til you make it" philosophy gives you the idea that you have not yet become. It means that you came from defeat to victory. So my proposal is, "Be" and then you "Become". This way to come from the point of victory to victory.

Whatever your approach to life is, make sure that you are not fooling yourself because the greatest form of deception is self-deception. Enjoy life, it's a waste of time spending it as someone else.:)
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Speak From the Heart



Whenever I am invited to speak in public and I feel unprepared, I would close my eyes and remind myself to speak from the heart. And when I start speaking, I am no longer afraid what I will be saying because I believe that when I speak from the heart, I could never go wrong.

A lot of speakers use words that they think would wow the listeners but in speaking from the heart there is a sense of fluidity and naturalness that's involve in the speech that makes it more emphatic than just putting words together. When you speak from the heart words tends to become more powerful than usual and often times more moving.  

When you speak from the heart you tend to become less conscious on what you memorized and you focus on what you understand. Of course you might end up showing that you do not understand the subject matter but I think it's better than trying to appear knowledgeable. If you have no idea what the subject is then you can start by being honest and say, "You know I have no idea what it's all about." And then start talking about what you think it means.

When you speak from the heart you are less focus on what others will say and more in tuned to how you feel about the matter. When you speak from the heart, you forget the technique and focus on conveying your thoughts and to me that is where the power of words lies.
So the next time around that you will be speaking in public and you do not feel prepared, close your eyes and remind yourself to speak from the heart.
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