What's the RIGHT Question?

People are looking for answers to get through life. But do you know that sometimes it is not just about getting answers but also framing the right questions? In fact, our answers are framed by the questions we ask to ourselves. Some people ask themselves, "Why am I unattractive?" And guess what they come up with 5 to 10 reasons why the are unattractive. Our brain can come up with answers to any question. It will spill out anything we ask of it. Here's another question, "Why do I ALWAYS fail?" Now, as strange as it may sound if you ask it to yourself you will come up with answers to that question. Here's a different question, "Why did I fail JUST NOW?" Now both questions talks about failure but one has ALWAYS on it while the other has JUST NOW on it. The answer that will come up are different. One question is judging the character of the person while the other is judging the event.

Successful people ask the the RIGHT questions. The right questions are framed not to judge a person but focus on making a change. Here one powerful question that a highly successful individual asks:

What can I do? 

This question is powerful because it focuses on the Circle of Influence (things that we can control) rather than the things we cannot control.  When people are in a tight and tough situation, they usually ask, "Why did this happen to me?" And they come up with different answers. And whatever answer they come up with, it will less likely to move them forward from that situation. The tendency is to blame others for your situation. When you ask, "What can I do?" You are taking the responsibility so you can move forward.

One of my favorite example is this guy, Nick Vujicic. If you've been living under a rock for the past decade, Nick was born without arms and legs. If you ask me, he is in a very hard situation. He has all the excuses int he world to quit. In fact, if he quits this life, we will probably understand him. But he asked the right question: What can I do?

We do not know his answer to that question but he went on to inspire thousands (probably millions) of people around the world. He wrote books about his journey and even got married. Last year, he had a child. Isn't that crazy? I believe he moved forward because he asked the right question. He started looking for the things he can change and the difference he can make.

The other example I would like to share is what happened in the Philippines last year during the super typhoon Haiyan. After the typhoon, the central part of the Philippines was devastated. People lost their homes and some lost lives. Some people asked, "What is the government doing?" While some asked, "What can I do?" And these are the people who went out to the devastated place and made a difference. Not only that they inspired others to helped out as well.

We are capable of doing greater things. We just need to ask, "What difference can we do?" You might be facing a hard situation now. Ask, "What can I do?" Refrain from putting the responsibility and blame on other people. Ask the right question and discover a part of yourself that can make a difference.